


Meta Monday

by AdaMariaSoto



Category: Fireman Sam (Cartoon), Frozen (2013), Up (2009)
Genre: Brexit, Meta, Other, back story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-23
Packaged: 2018-09-19 09:55:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9434915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdaMariaSoto/pseuds/AdaMariaSoto
Summary: A collection of short meta essays originally published on my blog on sporadic Mondays.





	1. How Brexit is Going to Screw Fireman Sam

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1: Fireman Sam  
> Chapter 2: Frozen  
> Chapter 3: UP

For those who aren't up on semi-educational Welsh originated childrens’ shows Fireman Sam is an animation about fireman Sam, the hero firefighter of the little Welsh village of Pontypandy. Yes, it is named Pontypandy. It's a seaside fishing village that is also near rugged mountains good for having adventures. And it has the most amazingly equipped Fire, and Search and Rescue services, ever.

Pontypandy has a population of about forty, and that includes the sheep. Despite that they have two large fire engines, a fire boat, an old fire engine that runs on train rails, an amphibious rescue vehicle, jet skies and three boats for water rescue, a helicopter for mountain rescue, mobile command unit, and a GPS heat seeking drone for finding dumb ass kids that get themselves stuck dangling over a waterfall at night. In _Fireman Sam: Heroes of the Storm_ , where a hurricane hits Pontypandy (hello climate change) they get an entire new station with a high-tech voice operated computer system somehow linked up to the entire village and a fifty percent increase in personnel. Where did the money for all this come from? No way a fishing village, even one attracting a couple of tourists, has the tax base to afford that kind of equipment. My best guess is EU grants.

The official website of Wales has an entire page devoted to EU funding in Wales with links to grants including ones for rural and maritime communities, plus links directly to a funding search checklist. An ambitious member of the Pontypandy civil service could almost certainly find some money as they fall under both rural and maritime. The Welsh website also assures people that EU grants are going ahead as usual but that's not going to last. And depending which news outlet you read Brexit is likely going to kill the economy of the UK with public services getting cut first.

The problem with having all that fancy equipment is maintaining it. Police services realized this when they used Homeland Security money to buy military surplus tanks and high end surveillance systems. Then they realized that tanks get about five feet to the gallon with spare parts that are proprietary and expensive. And you actually need to hire someone to watch all the high-tech surveillance equipment. I don't see Fireman Sam fairing much better.

It _will_ be more exciting when Sam has to rescue kids by climbing up snow covered mountains or hiking through the woods alone. One of them is bound to die horribly. Probably Norman Price. Firefighters Ellie and Arnold will probably get let go. Last in first out. And undoubtedly a lot of that new equipment is going to get mothballed. The old captain may find out about forced retirement. At least fireman Sam will still be able to warn kids about the dangers of hot irons, overloading power sockets, and give [Bonfire Night Safety Tips](http://www.activityvillage.co.uk/bonfire-night-safety-tips-from-fireman-sam).


	2. What the hell is up with the political structure of Arendelle?

If you have a kid under ten, especially a girl, odds are you’ve been subjected to Frozen, the most artificially constructed Disney movie in history. I swear every character has been optimized by their marketing department for peek saleability. And each song is more earwormy than the next. And after repeated viewings I have some serious question about the political structure of Arendelle.

At the start, there is a king*, queen, and two princesses**. The king and queen die but princess Elsa is not yet old enough to take the throne. Who is running the country? Due to crappy parenting Elsa is in seclusion and Anna has been left to her own devices. It’s stated that Arendelle is wealthy and an in-demand trading partner. Who is negotiating these trade deals? One would assume a regent or steward. Makes sense, except we never see or hear about one, there’s no exchange of power. Just a priest looking guy handing Elsa some stuff when she turns eighteen. When things go bad no one says ‘hey, where’s the regent?’

And when things do go bad, Elsa is accused of being a monster by foreign diplomats and sent running into the hills, alone. Even in a stripped-down household there has to be a palace guard somewhere. You know, someone whose job it is to protect the royal family? Instead Anna goes running off after Elsa, alone, leaving Hans in charge. This is some bad leadership but considering her upbringing or lack thereof you can sort of forgive it. But leaving a prince who has never set foot in Arendelle before, even if he is a half assed fiancé, is still a poor excuse of a power shift. Regent? Captain of the guard? General? Chief of Staff? Anyone who is actually in the Arendelle chain of command?***

Then Hans takes some of the palace guards, as well as Weselton guards, to go capture Elsa. Yes, Hans says the Queen isn’t to be hurt but who the hell is he to be giving any orders? It’s one thing to hand out blankets, it’s another thing to brandish weapons at the Queen. And again, the Arendelle guards don’t comment on foreign soldiers taking shots at their Queen.

Then Hans pulls the whole ‘Anna is dead but we said our vows first’ thing. First rule of a coup (because that’s what it is) is make sure your opponent is actually dead. No one asks for a witness to this marriage. If they do believe Anna is dead they leave her ‘body’ in the living room. And then backed by foreign diplomats, mostly the Weselton representative, the Arendelle guards accept Hans handing down a death sentence on their Queen. Regent? Captain of the Guard? Head of the Army? Head of the State Church? Housekeeper? The person who sewed their dresses? Anyone? Seriously why is no one questioning this nonsense? Even the ordinary citizens of Arendelle should be asking ‘who the hell is this’?

Once it all ends nice and happy the first thing Elsa needs to do is fire half her military for backing this mess. And Hans needs something worse than getting sent home to his brothers. He staged a coup and tried to kill a head of state. It’s established that Arendelle has some pretty nasty looking cells and if it is legal for royalty to hand down criminal sentences without any form a trial then Elsa should be on the throne making a public example. It’s obvious her position isn’t secure and there is something to be said for a show of strength in this situation, but that wouldn’t be very princessey now would it?  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
* Voiced by Maurice LaMarche who also voiced The Brain. Once you hear it you can’t unhear it.

** Because why have one princess you can use to sell crap to little girls when you can have two?

*** We’re working on the theory that Arendelle is an Absolute Monarchy instead of a constitutional one.


	3. The Tragic Story of Dug the Dog

If you have never seen the movie _UP_ go watch it now. Are you done crying?

Here's my question, where did Dug the dog come from?

This is my best guess. Dug is a Golden Retriever. As far as I can tell the rest of the dogs in Muntz' pack are Rottweilers, Bulldogs, and Alpha who is a Doberman Pinscher. These dog breeds don't always have the best reputation and are very hard looking dogs. Muntz has obviously bread them carefully for intelligence over multiple generations. They can fly airplanes and cook.

On the other hand Dug is shown as being if not dumb then gullible. In the short included on the _UP_ DVD, called _Dug's Special Mission_ , which takes place just before he meets Russell and Carl, he is bullied by the other dogs, especially Alpha. They blame Dug for another failed attempt to catch the bird and with taunts and threats send Dug running from the airship. They also wish Dug a happy birthday. Dug is obviously not a solid member of the pack and is unlikely to have been bred by Muntz.

It's shown that Muntz loves dogs. In his obsession he will gladly kill anyone but I doubt that Muntz would kill a dog. Muntz surely isn’t the only person to travel with his dogs so somewhere along the line he kills some poor adventurer, finds Dug's mother (probably already pregnant), and brings her back to the ship. In a tightknit, pseudo-militaristic pack, I can't see that going well. Muntz could have ordered the pack to take her in but that doesn't mean they'd be nice about it.

Whatever happened after that was dramatic enough that Alpha, who hates Dug, remembers his exact birthday. In _Dug’s Special Mission_ he says his birthday wish is for a new master which implies that Muntz is either unaware or complacent in Dug’s poor treatment by Alpha and the rest of the pack. There is no evidence of Dug’s mother or of any littermates he might have had, suggesting he is possibly the only survivor, either chosen by Muntz or Muntz stopping whatever event was dramatic enough to make his birthdate memorable.


End file.
